Hello everyone, let's start with a little honesty......I'm obviously not good at keeping up with this blog! haha Every time I say I'm going to try to get better at updating but I never do, sorry! I wont make that promise again this time but I'm not planning on never writing anymore either, basically don't expect it to change I guess. :)
Anyway, since last time I have been up and down and things have been crazy and calm. Our new school year started in March and it has been crazy trying to adjust to new students and the lack of english they know as well as the fact that they don't know the rules at school. They are starting to do better now and calm down but there are still days I just want to pull my hair out while screaming at the top of my lungs "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Don't worry though I never do that! I'm also teaching six year olds instead of 7 year olds this year so that has taken some getting used to as well. For the most part most of my kids are pretty cute though and I have a couple that are super smart so that makes it nice.
Outside of work I have been adjusting to coming home to an empty house. At first it was a little hard but now it's gotten a lot better. Weekends I've taken advantage of the nicer weather and gone exploring and hung out with friends around here. Definitely had some really good time lately over the weekends! Last weekend we had a BBQ over at Nic and Laurens and just hung out, ate and sat outside. It was so great and the food was AWESOME!!! Can not wait to do that again. The next few weeks are already full of things going on, I LOVE this spring weather. Next weekend looks like we'll be going to the Russian quarter, then its May and the first weekend we're going on a teachers over night to an island on Friday then Saturday me, Lauren, Nic, Bob, Justine (new teacher), Erin and who ever else are all going to the international food festival, SUPER excited about that. The second weekend in May Lauren, Erin, Justine, and I are all going down to Busan for a girls weekend! The last two weekends the Ditty's will be here so I'm sure I will be seeing a lot of them. So yeah as you can see going to be a busy few weekends and I'm excited for it!
Like I said earlier though not everything has been all up. On Easter I found out that one of the most amazing, beautiful, cutest little boys I knew passed away. As most of you know I worked at the Ronald McDonald House before coming over here. While working there I got pretty close to a family that was there often. Jenn and Travis are AMAZING parents and they have the cutest and smartest children also so it was of course very easy to fall in love with them all. Their youngest, Gabe, was only three and had been fighting cancer for about 2 years before he passed away. Being over here and not being able to go to the funeral or just go give them a hug was really hard. I was angry and sad and honestly still am a little. I don't understand why things like this happen to such wonderful children. This is not the first time I've dealt with a child I was close to passing but it never gets easier. I know they are no longer in pain and that that is a good thing but it's still hard. I will never forget the children and families I've met from that place and think about them often.
Ok now before I start crying again let's move on to my very exciting plans that I am making! Summer vacation is coming up fast, it's the week at the end of July first of August. I am going to Malaysia and to Singapore!!!! I am SO SO SO VERY EXCITED about it too! I'm leaving Friday the 27th and flying into Kuala Lumpur and then staying there for two nights then up to Penang island where George Town is at and staying there for a few days and after that down to Singapore where I will finish the trip off staying there for a couple more days before flying back to Korea! Right now I only have the flight to KL booked but I have a few things in mind that I want to do and am slowly making a list of things to see and do. This will be first trip alone and I thought I would be nervous but instead I find myself overly excited and can not wait to wander around exploring and hopefully meet some cool people along the way.
I think that is about all for now. If not sorry, I have a headache and had to stop in the middle of this to skype with mom and grandma so I've also lost motivation to keep writing more! haha sorries! ;) Anyway, hope everyone is doing well I love and miss you all!
S
Friday, April 20, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
New chapter
Today was the day, the day that Logan left to move to China and the day that I officially became completely single and living alone in South Korea. Now I've had to say goodbye to loved ones before this of course, but never to someone that I still love and will probably always love and that was still alive but just moving on. To put it simply today was hard. Because he left early I thought maybe I could go back to sleep and just deal with all the feelings later but turns out that doesn't work. All I kept doing was staring at his place in bed and hearing the words he said to me before he left over and over again in my head. "I'm sorry I'm leaving you here. I love you. Please try to be happy." These three simple sentences just made me remember again why it was I loved him. When I would fall asleep I would soon wake up with the feeling of it just being a dream. Honestly this whole day has felt a little like a dread, a dream I never thought I would have.
I've never been the one to trust guys or had many guys make me feel like I deserve the world and that they are lucky to be in it with me. He has made me feel like that way more times than I can could ever count I think. As much as it hurts now I know that I am extremely lucky to have felt this way and I still thank God that he brought him into my life. I know that I will find happiness again and I know that I will love like that again. As hard as these past couple of months have been at times I'm really not sure that I would change them. I have cried and I yelled and voiced how I feel about all of this, the main thing being that I never thought this would happen and I was sad about one of my best friends going away and leaving me here all alone. In the end though we started out as best friends and we are able to end as still pretty good friends. I really believe that if we would have been back in the states when we ended things we wouldn't of been able to remain friends. These past couple of months have been nice to slowly adjust to things and to just work on keeping the friendship when everything else was falling apart.
Was today hard? Yes today was hard. Yes the next few days, weeks, maybe months will be hard. I'll get used to being here alone though and I will get over it. I'm strong and I have great friends and family that are here for me so I know I will. I also still have a passion to travel and see things in the world I never thought possible. I will never forget the good times that I was able to have traveling around new places of the world with a good friend, in case I start to I definitely have enough pictures to remind me! Now though starts a new chapter of my life. A chapter where I will get to see just how strong I can be. A chapter to make life long memories of things that some people only dream of doing. I will admit today I am a little not ok but tomorrow is another day, and a new day at that....bring it on.
Cheers to change and friends and family that help you deal with it...cheers to another new chapter!
S
I've never been the one to trust guys or had many guys make me feel like I deserve the world and that they are lucky to be in it with me. He has made me feel like that way more times than I can could ever count I think. As much as it hurts now I know that I am extremely lucky to have felt this way and I still thank God that he brought him into my life. I know that I will find happiness again and I know that I will love like that again. As hard as these past couple of months have been at times I'm really not sure that I would change them. I have cried and I yelled and voiced how I feel about all of this, the main thing being that I never thought this would happen and I was sad about one of my best friends going away and leaving me here all alone. In the end though we started out as best friends and we are able to end as still pretty good friends. I really believe that if we would have been back in the states when we ended things we wouldn't of been able to remain friends. These past couple of months have been nice to slowly adjust to things and to just work on keeping the friendship when everything else was falling apart.
Was today hard? Yes today was hard. Yes the next few days, weeks, maybe months will be hard. I'll get used to being here alone though and I will get over it. I'm strong and I have great friends and family that are here for me so I know I will. I also still have a passion to travel and see things in the world I never thought possible. I will never forget the good times that I was able to have traveling around new places of the world with a good friend, in case I start to I definitely have enough pictures to remind me! Now though starts a new chapter of my life. A chapter where I will get to see just how strong I can be. A chapter to make life long memories of things that some people only dream of doing. I will admit today I am a little not ok but tomorrow is another day, and a new day at that....bring it on.
Cheers to change and friends and family that help you deal with it...cheers to another new chapter!
S
Monday, February 6, 2012
How do you move on....?
So I have a question for you all. How do you move on...move on from where you go I go? How do you move on when you still love that person? How do you let go of promises that he would always be there and love you and some day put a ring on your finger? How do you let go of all the hopes and plans you'd made with that person for years to come and walk away ok? One day at a time.
I'm going to keep this short, but if you haven't guessed yet I'm in for a pretty big change over here in Korea. When first preparing to move over to Korea I was as high as a bird. I had this wonderful job, I was getting ready to be able to travel and see things like I'd always wanted and I had this wonderful guy that was moving across the world for me! I still have a wonderful job and I'm still able to travel to awesome places but in a month the last thing will be changing. At first it was one of the hardest decision I ever had to make, but even then I knew it had to be done. I still love him and I know he still has strong feelings for me but we have realized that we both want different things and that he is in fact not ready to be in any form of relationship at all. I have always, and still want, to be married some day and even though I didn't in my youth I now also want a child to go along with that. Logan has realized that he does not want that. Now don't get me wrong, I am NO WHERE close to wanting that now or any time soon really, just some day.
What I'm scared most about all this is what a HUGE change it is going to be to get my head to wrap around it all. He has been by my side for more than 2 years now in one form or the other, boyfriend or best friend. He has become my person I tell everything to over here, the person I talk to every day, and my travel partner. I'm scared of being away from my mom and my best friends after he leaves. I'm afraid that I will be too scared to do the traveling that I want because I worry about traveling by myself. I can't let my fears keep me from doing what I want though. I have made friends over here and I have skype to talk to my mom every weekend or more if needed and I have the best friends back home that will email me or skype whenever also. I have decided to stay over here for another year even just to try and prove to myself that I can do it alone. Now that my parents have bought tickets to come visit next year too I have something huge to look forward to. I'm going to try and make a trip around Korea by myself sometime to help get over my fear of traveling alone and sometime I will get my self to another country or 2 for a vacation.
So even though I am scared and my heart is seriously hurting right now I'm trying to keep it together. I know I will have hard days, probably even days or moments where I start crying again because I miss him, but it's what was right in the end. The answer to my question, how do I move on, I'm going to start with one day at a time. I don't know what else to do and right now that's all I can do. I will tell you though I miss terribly the days of when I could curl up in my moms lap while she played with my hair and told me it will all be alright then gave me a kiss it was all better. This growing up thing sucks big time at times and is more painful at times than they tell you.
One day at a time,
S
I'm going to keep this short, but if you haven't guessed yet I'm in for a pretty big change over here in Korea. When first preparing to move over to Korea I was as high as a bird. I had this wonderful job, I was getting ready to be able to travel and see things like I'd always wanted and I had this wonderful guy that was moving across the world for me! I still have a wonderful job and I'm still able to travel to awesome places but in a month the last thing will be changing. At first it was one of the hardest decision I ever had to make, but even then I knew it had to be done. I still love him and I know he still has strong feelings for me but we have realized that we both want different things and that he is in fact not ready to be in any form of relationship at all. I have always, and still want, to be married some day and even though I didn't in my youth I now also want a child to go along with that. Logan has realized that he does not want that. Now don't get me wrong, I am NO WHERE close to wanting that now or any time soon really, just some day.
What I'm scared most about all this is what a HUGE change it is going to be to get my head to wrap around it all. He has been by my side for more than 2 years now in one form or the other, boyfriend or best friend. He has become my person I tell everything to over here, the person I talk to every day, and my travel partner. I'm scared of being away from my mom and my best friends after he leaves. I'm afraid that I will be too scared to do the traveling that I want because I worry about traveling by myself. I can't let my fears keep me from doing what I want though. I have made friends over here and I have skype to talk to my mom every weekend or more if needed and I have the best friends back home that will email me or skype whenever also. I have decided to stay over here for another year even just to try and prove to myself that I can do it alone. Now that my parents have bought tickets to come visit next year too I have something huge to look forward to. I'm going to try and make a trip around Korea by myself sometime to help get over my fear of traveling alone and sometime I will get my self to another country or 2 for a vacation.
So even though I am scared and my heart is seriously hurting right now I'm trying to keep it together. I know I will have hard days, probably even days or moments where I start crying again because I miss him, but it's what was right in the end. The answer to my question, how do I move on, I'm going to start with one day at a time. I don't know what else to do and right now that's all I can do. I will tell you though I miss terribly the days of when I could curl up in my moms lap while she played with my hair and told me it will all be alright then gave me a kiss it was all better. This growing up thing sucks big time at times and is more painful at times than they tell you.
One day at a time,
S
Friday, January 27, 2012
Let's try this again.....Hong Kong!
Ok so I'm sitting here listening to a massive mix of music, mostly Tegan and Sarah, Florence and the Machine, and songs from Grey's Anatomy. As my best friend Laura knows I am totally a music whore! haha Meaning I like having music playing when I'm doing almost everything and I love being quizzed or quizzing others on classic rock....just like my mom did to me growing up! So what's the point of this? Well I have actually already tried writing this blog but my stupid computer decided to act up at the end causing me to lose it all and really making me mad in the process. Needless to say because the last one was so long I was not in the mood to start over again at that time. But now with the music playing, the quietness of the apartment and smell of bleach (I cleaned the apt) I figured I would try
again!
Laura and I living it up at the Palms
So Hong Kong in a nut shell....walnut or Brazilian nut size of course! Ok so here we go, after landing we soon figured out that our bags had been put on a different flight for the way over causing us to have no luggage except the backpacks we were wearing for the whole first night. Being stuck in a sweater walking around in semi nice weather, like low 60's, and then having to sleep in jeans and a huge shirt you bought as your first souvenir is not that great. Luckily we were so tired we passed out right away and awoke to have our bags back with us the next morning. So now what did we do while there after getting our bags? Let's see, we went to a theme park that had lots of animals too and wondered around there, not too great BUT we did get to ride a ski lift type thing to the top of the park that had wonderful views of a beach and islands and the shore line below. We did some night market shopping by our hostel, which if I did not say already smelled of Indian food the whole time! haha The best part in the night market was all the little stands with little old ladies or men selling sex toys or sexy clothes! haha One of my favorite things we did was when we went to go see the worlds largest bronze Buddha. We stood in line for longer than an hour and then rode another ski lift thing over mountains and water for like 25mins just to get to the thing! It was really awesome, and after climbing around 300 stairs to the top it was incredibly peaceful and quiet and had an amazing view as well. I really did love that day, and it was the perfect weather too, 70s!
Another day we did some shopping at this street market called Ladies Market, AKA amazing market!! haha We are talking blocks of tent stand with all kinds of stuff like shoes, clothes, jewelry, souvenirs, purses, scarfs, luggage, etc. And EVERYTHING I bought there I paid almost half the asking price because you were able to haggle it all down.....awesome!! Another great thing we did was go to a little tiny restaurant, tiny as in like seats 30, and have some amazing dumplings! This place actually has a 1 Michelin star rating also and Anthony Bourdain went to eat at this place on his The Layover show! This place is so popular that Logan's dad had gone to wait in line at 9:30, it opens I think 10 or 10:30, and there were 60 people in front of him. He got us a number and we had to come back an hour later! They had these little biscuit type dumplings that were a little sweet tasting and then on the inside had BBQ pork.....YUMMM!! Now with all the walking we were doing my feet were KILLING me. I was either walking with my toes curled up or on like the sides of my feet sometimes because they hurt so bad. Luckily I had a great idea and then Logan was great enough to find a place and pay for us to get a foot massage. That foot massage was definitely a love hate thing that's for sure. On one side I hated it because the guy was so rough on my feet but on the other side I loved it because it felt so good after he would let up and when he was finished! We also rode a little old tram car up the side of a mountain to go to Victoria Peak, a great place to over look the city. Sadly it was pretty cloudy that day but we could still see pretty well, the view was really nice.
Ok now for New Years. Logan's dad had left that morning so after that we just wondered around and then went out to eat at this GREAT Mediterranean type place. The food was soooo good!! After that we found that it had cooled down a ton so we decided to run back to the hostel and get our heavier coats. We started out walking along the boardwalk so we could see the lights on the water and all, got half way and found that the police had it blocked off half way to cut back on crazy high traffic in the middle. Sooooo
Well that was our trip in a nutshell. Sorry if you think it lacked detail but like I said this is the second time writing this up so I'm not feeling the super long details. Everything since being back has been a big mixture of feelings for me with some things going on here. My mind has been constantly thinking over questions that I have. Most of the questions I don't like and some scare me but if I think too long about them they tend to drive me nuts so I try not to think about everything too much. I know you're probably wondering what "everything" is that I'm talking about and some of you know and others don't but I'm not going to get into it now. Let's just say a big change is going to be happening for me in March. That's for another time and a couple glasses of wine maybe. Just know that I'm ok and not to worry I'll continue to be ok, life threatening.
Hope everyone is doing good back home and if you ever plan a trip to Asia to do some traveling definitely make time to stop by Hong Kong, it's pretty great!!
Love to you all,
S
"You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
― Kathryn Stockett, The Help
again!
So Hong Kong in a nut shell....walnut or Brazilian nut size of course! Ok so here we go, after landing we soon figured out that our bags had been put on a different flight for the way over causing us to have no luggage except the backpacks we were wearing for the whole first night. Being stuck in a sweater walking around in semi nice weather, like low 60's, and then having to sleep in jeans and a huge shirt you bought as your first souvenir is not that great. Luckily we were so tired we passed out right away and awoke to have our bags back with us the next morning. So now what did we do while there after getting our bags? Let's see, we went to a theme park that had lots of animals too and wondered around there, not too great BUT we did get to ride a ski lift type thing to the top of the park that had wonderful views of a beach and islands and the shore line below. We did some night market shopping by our hostel, which if I did not say already smelled of Indian food the whole time! haha The best part in the night market was all the little stands with little old ladies or men selling sex toys or sexy clothes! haha One of my favorite things we did was when we went to go see the worlds largest bronze Buddha. We stood in line for longer than an hour and then rode another ski lift thing over mountains and water for like 25mins just to get to the thing! It was really awesome, and after climbing around 300 stairs to the top it was incredibly peaceful and quiet and had an amazing view as well. I really did love that day, and it was the perfect weather too, 70s!
Another day we did some shopping at this street market called Ladies Market, AKA amazing market!! haha We are talking blocks of tent stand with all kinds of stuff like shoes, clothes, jewelry, souvenirs, purses, scarfs, luggage, etc. And EVERYTHING I bought there I paid almost half the asking price because you were able to haggle it all down.....awesome!! Another great thing we did was go to a little tiny restaurant, tiny as in like seats 30, and have some amazing dumplings! This place actually has a 1 Michelin star rating also and Anthony Bourdain went to eat at this place on his The Layover show! This place is so popular that Logan's dad had gone to wait in line at 9:30, it opens I think 10 or 10:30, and there were 60 people in front of him. He got us a number and we had to come back an hour later! They had these little biscuit type dumplings that were a little sweet tasting and then on the inside had BBQ pork.....YUMMM!! Now with all the walking we were doing my feet were KILLING me. I was either walking with my toes curled up or on like the sides of my feet sometimes because they hurt so bad. Luckily I had a great idea and then Logan was great enough to find a place and pay for us to get a foot massage. That foot massage was definitely a love hate thing that's for sure. On one side I hated it because the guy was so rough on my feet but on the other side I loved it because it felt so good after he would let up and when he was finished! We also rode a little old tram car up the side of a mountain to go to Victoria Peak, a great place to over look the city. Sadly it was pretty cloudy that day but we could still see pretty well, the view was really nice.
Ok now for New Years. Logan's dad had left that morning so after that we just wondered around and then went out to eat at this GREAT Mediterranean type place. The food was soooo good!! After that we found that it had cooled down a ton so we decided to run back to the hostel and get our heavier coats. We started out walking along the boardwalk so we could see the lights on the water and all, got half way and found that the police had it blocked off half way to cut back on crazy high traffic in the middle. Sooooo
Well that was our trip in a nutshell. Sorry if you think it lacked detail but like I said this is the second time writing this up so I'm not feeling the super long details. Everything since being back has been a big mixture of feelings for me with some things going on here. My mind has been constantly thinking over questions that I have. Most of the questions I don't like and some scare me but if I think too long about them they tend to drive me nuts so I try not to think about everything too much. I know you're probably wondering what "everything" is that I'm talking about and some of you know and others don't but I'm not going to get into it now. Let's just say a big change is going to be happening for me in March. That's for another time and a couple glasses of wine maybe. Just know that I'm ok and not to worry I'll continue to be ok, life threatening.
Hope everyone is doing good back home and if you ever plan a trip to Asia to do some traveling definitely make time to stop by Hong Kong, it's pretty great!!
Love to you all,
S
"You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
― Kathryn Stockett, The Help
Hong Kong 2011
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